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I am in awe of the insights you give. You come in from so many angles that are all true.

So I am thinking a lot about what you say, and I want to say more about Heaven Admin as I come to know him.

What he reveals, I think, is that he doesn’t take anything personally. He doesn’t think, as I so often have: “They must not regard me highly, or they would do things differently.”

Heaven Admin doesn’t seem to see others’ lives as about him at all.

He doesn’t seem to see what anyone does as a reflection on him at all. It doesn’t have anything at all to do with him.

God in Heavenletters says that it is our interpretation of events that gets us into trouble.

It must be that we think that the people whose actions or inactions offend us don’t value us very much, don’t really care about us, couldn’t care less. It is our fear and perhaps conviction that we don’t mean anything to them that then makes us unhappy.

When I taught school, I did have some things right. If a kid misspelled the same words over and over again, I didn’t think anything of it. It was misspelling. That’s all it was. Of course, I didn’t hold misspelling against the kid. I didn’t feel slighted. Of course, I didn’t take anyone’s difficulty with spelling personally.

If it were my child, would I take it more personally and be irritated?

Of course I know that living with people day after day isn’t as easy as a few hours a week in school – unless it happens to be someone like Heaven Admin who seems to simply be a happy man who likes people as they are.

Posted by Gloria on January 3rd, 2010 under these topics
Personal Development, Godwriting Journal

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6 Replies

Reply from paula on January 4, 2010

I’d like to know whether Heaven Admin could still keep his calm when living with someone who day after day keeps dirtying where he has just cleaned? I don’t think that ‘they don’t regard me highly’, but I do think that they don’t regard my work and my efforts highly. - And, mind you, I am not obsessed by cleaning, on the contrary, I am very untidy for the standards of the Italian ladies.

Maybe this is exactly the lesson I need to learn: have respect for other people’s work. But haven’t I already learned it? Or is it about respecting other persons’ right to be messy? Letting go of control?

Reply from Gloria on January 4, 2010

Paula, I really relate to what you are saying. What you are describing is the sort of thing that would just make me climb the wall.

I know you have respect for other people’s work.

This is a hard one.

Reply from Jochen on January 4, 2010

While mind is busy going about its business, heart scans the surroundings all the time. Not obsessively, of course, just lightly, just attentively and lovingly taking in whatever and whoever is there, and how things and sentient beings are affected by what I do. Mind never does that, it is unable to consider anything beyond its own plans. It can learn to hear what heart whispers, though. Problem is, it doesn’t like to. Too much trouble. It has hissed “Shh” so often, it doesn’t even realize it is silencing heart all the time.

So what can be done when you are the one who knows about your own ego to the extent that you have become able to hear your heart and consider the big picture in everything you do? What if you know that the knife you use to prepare your sandwich is a friend who loves to serve you and loves to look inviting to the next one it serves – what if you know and no one else seems to share that knowing? Realizing that their disregard isn’t really for you or your work but for their own heart doesn’t always help.

What, then, does? It seems to me that recovery from feeling hurt or angry is faster when I manage to find moments of true silence, dropping out of just everything for a while. I do not know whether this can be a matter of choice. It wasn’t for me. I had to fight endlessly until it became irrefutably clear it is never going to work. You could say, I had to get desperate enough.

Reply from Lynda on January 5, 2010

Hi Paula,
I had to respond to you.
I know exactly where you are coming from.

For me personally, it was about realizing that I could not control another’s bad habits, and they did not care enough to meet me half way. There was no compromise.

It sounds as though you are already feeling that you aren’t up to par with those in the Italian households.
That you will be judged. Do not let this happen.

There needs to be mutual respect. The others in your household need to become more respectful of the service you are providing them. What would happen if you stopped?

Would they assume the role and learn to pick up after themselves? Might be worth trying.

My heart goes out to you. It is so frustrating, and I am certain there is much going on below the surface.

In light,
Lynda
It is your ego is that is unhappy.

Reply from emilia on January 5, 2010

I have the remedy.
Solitude.

Reply from paula on January 6, 2010

Dear Lynda,
thanks for your kind words. But I already tried, for thirty years. But I must say that I didn’t mean I am unhappy, I just get frustrated at times. I still need to learn to perform every task for God - with joy, because I know I am performing it for God. But I am definitely not unhappy. How could I be, for I have the Love of God in my heart!

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