The past few days I had been agonizing over learning a special web editor program that Heaven Admin set up for me to use in preparing Heaven News.  I was stymied. I was beyond stymied. I was ready to give up. I was being a big baby.

It was while writing the blog yesterday that I rallied.  Would I have rallied, or rallied so quickly, if I had not had a blog, this blog, to write in?

But I did rally. I became like a losing football team that comes to life in the last inning, and, to everyone’s surprise, the underdog wins!

Here’s what happened. Last night I got the hang of the program. All of a sudden, what had been impossible for me to manage became a piece of cake! When I finally got the hang of it, I couldn’t figure out what I had found so hard about it.  Heaven Admin was right — it was simple and easy.

So what had made it so hard for me? My attitude. Obviously, I have some block, a silly block, when it comes to technical things. My fear of failing must be so huge that I fail myself before even giving it a good try.

In Beverly Hills Chiquaqua, a movie I really loved, you may remember how Montezuma, the King of Chiquaquas, told timid Chloe who had led such a sheltered life in Beverly Hills: “We are MexiCANS, not MexiCAN’TS.”

Well, haven’t I been a CAN’T?

Before I go on and tell you a couple more contributing factors to my recovery, I want to tell you an amazing thing. Not only did I succeed in this editor program, I discovered that I like it! I like it! I like it very much! I think I love it!

Isn’t that miraculous? Somehow night turned into day.  Now I would rather get Heaven News together this way than the old way. I have become a total convert. I would never have believed this could happen. But it happened! And it happened to me!

Two other contributing factors to this achievement were:

1. Heaven Admin’s kindness, compassion, and patience. He didn’t walk away, although he was willing to have me go back to the old way even though it meant slowing down Heaven News. He gave me the freedom of choice.

2. God in my personal Godwriting™

I wrote to God, in part:

I am determined to learn computer programs and to learn equanimity. With Your help, beloved God.

And then God said that which, if someone else had said it would not have touched me so much or at all, but when God said it, I totally melted, and any remaining thread of my resistance to learning new technology was gone.

God said:

And so it is, My beloved dumpling.

God called me His dumpling! His beloved dumpling!

What is there that I cannot do!