As you know, Heaven Admin loves to cook, and I am a beneficiary. Not only does Heaven Admin cook wonderful food, he loves to surprise people with it. There is always something new and colorful and artistic that he creates, something that the world has never seen before.

In the above photo, you see some homemade crepes that Heaven Admin made from fermented buckwheat and dahl. He takes the whole buckwheat and mung dahl and soaks them for a day or two and then blends them in the blender with homemade kefir and makes crepes from them which are later used as wraps. These wraps are lovely things, none better, warm from the griddle and stuffed with wonderful things.

I believe the greens in the plate above are mustard leaves fresh from the Farmer’s market.

The other patch of food is from fresh Roma tomatoes cooked well and then panir, a freshly made cheese, is added to the tomatoes and cooked some more.

Now, in the dish below, Heaven Admin surprised me with hors d’oevres! I found this on my kitchen counter or maybe in my refrigerator. Can you imagine my delight?!!! How would you feel if you found something like this waiting for you for a snack!

The base of these pates were sliced tomatoes and cucumbers. The toppings were varied wonderful magical things, all scrumptious. There isn’t one thing here that I wouldn’t salivate for. The carrots you can recognize. The little milk bottle in the center was filled with homemade mango lassi that Heaven Admin made from his own homemade kefir.

You realize the reverence I hold Heaven Admin’s food in, and I am so utterly grateful and in awe.

So today, I thought I would surprise nice Heaven Admin with my own creation.

When my daughter was little, I used to make Raggedy Ann sandwiches for her. I would cut bread in the shape of a skirt and top, arms and legs were carrot sticks, Raggedy Ann’s hair was grated carrot, her rosy cheeks might be a little round of tomato, her skirt covered in cream cheese or egg salad and so on. Buttons could be anything. Eyes could be raisins. You’ve got the idea. The Raggedy Ann’s were lots of fun to make, and, of course, I enjoyed making them for Lauren, and she enjoyed eating them.  There was no limit to the imaginative ways to make a Raggedy Ann sandwich.

So I went to town making Raggedy Ann’s for Heaven Admin. I didn’t have bread, but I did have some whole wheat wraps, and I had imagination! Raggedy Ann’s skirt had arugala ruffles. The polka dots were various kinds of cheese, sprinkled with chia seeds. Her hair was lentil sprouts. The arms and legs were jicama sticks. The Raggedy Ann’s had red strawberry shoes with little buckles of white cheese. As you can imagine from the photos below, I had a wonderful time and I enjoyed thinking of how pleased Heaven Admin would be. I must confess I was quite pleased with myself.

But you will discover, as I did discover, that Heaven Admin has a dark side. There was a hint of that in a previous blog entry in which he took some terrible photos of me which he threatened to post! Still, I couldn’t quite believe his heartlessness.

Look closely at these two Raggedy Ann plates. See if you can see the carnage that Heaven Admin ruthlessly and gleefully wrought before my very eyes. Do you see? Look closely.

Do you see what this presumably sainted Heaven Admin did?

First he ruthlessly tore off the arm of one and the leg of another, and spooned generous tomato sauce globs of blood to show where the torn limb had been. It is too gross to tell you the rest. I can’t possibly tell you how he dripped olive oil to represent their brains spilling out, put some green sauce around their noses which had been dainty sunflower seeds carefully standing up, and brutalized their stomachs with I forget what.

What would you have done under these circumstances if you had been I?

I waited for an apology, but none came. I can hardly believe it.

Meanwhile, I regret to inform you that both Raggedy Ann’s, carnage and all, were eaten up, and they are no more.