Is this, then, karma

The new young dental hygienist at my dentist’s office saw my gray hair and took me for an older person.

I know because this is what she said to me: “Well, what are you doing today…besides coming here?” So far that’s what she’d say to anybody. But then, she gave me a once-over and added, “Anything?”

Do you get how loaded the anything was?Anything said a whole book. Anything was the clincher, for, of course, this young girl must have pictured me as doddering around my house with time on my hands, maybe crocheting doilies, with nothing to look forward to all week except for the excitement of lying in that chair and getting my teeth cleaned! I imagine she sees anyone over sixty as ready to keel over — most certainly ready to be put out to pasture!

What should I have said? Usually, when I can’t think of what to say at the moment, after the fact, I can think of the perfect thing to say, but not this time.

It really isn’t this girl’s fault. This is how it is in America! Older people aren’t really seen.

I’m really not one to talk. I can remember when anyone over forty was ancient! At my best, I probably was patronizing to older people.

I can even remember when I was a very little girl at the beach in New London, Connecticut. I would stare at the old ladies in their black bathing suits and wonder at their wobbly wrinkly skin on the inside of their arms. I would look at them sort of the way I would look at monkeys in the zoo!

I do think it is a little ironic to meet this dental hygienest who saw me as idle, the day after I wrote in the blog how overly busy I am. Is everything in the relative world really perception then, and that’s all it is?

Posted by Gloria on September 19th, 2008 under these topics
Purely Personal, Godwriting Journal

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Reply from Pam (fortheloveofGodde) on September 19, 2008

The only person I remember not actively “working” was my great-great grandmother. I never questioned old people working (and yes, even though my grandparents were in their 40s at the time, they were very old to me). My great-grandfather farmed and kept cows and pigs. I loved watching him milk. Barn cats would line up against the wall and meow for milk. His aim was remarkable. He’d put a few squirts into the bucket, then aim at a cat and shoot a squirt right into its mouth. He had a lassie dog that would bring in the cows, and he could “sooeee” pigs like nobody’s business.
Great-grandma, of course, cleaned, cooked and put up foods, etc. There was no such thing as “retirement.”

I look at my mother now, thankfully retired, and busy as ever. People sometimes rush to help her, which is fine sometimes. I’ve had friends ask why I don’t do certain things for her. My answer is, because she prefers to do them for herself. She is not an old doddering fool, you know, and I’m not going to treat her as one. In fact, I have to stop her from doing to much for ME!

When I was so sick, she’s the one who took care of me every day at home. The visiting nurses came twice a week and we couldn’t afford or really need in-home care.

I think you should have told this young woman that you had your website, blog and forum to attend to as your thousands of subscribers were waiting for the latest installment. Perhaps her little mind would have expanded a bit at the concept of an old person even knowing the word “blog.” LOL

Reply from Emilia on September 20, 2008

Yes, it is all a matter of perception, I have learned this in my life and that is why I am inclined to think that words are often useless. To learn you have to experience from your unique angle.
Besides, Gloria, there is nothing wrong with idleness, it is so sweet and prolific. You Know, I am from the south of Italy, a colony of old Greece and part of the Roman Empire, and so we Know that from “otium” (idleness in latin, but it means also peaceful contemplation )comes all the nobles arts. Ater all we are Human “beings” not Human “doings”!
Loving you deeply
Emilia

Reply from Berit on September 24, 2008

Oh Gloria, you made me laugh !! I’d have loved to see your face right there at this question ! God must have had a good laugh too !
I totally join Emilia in reminding you that we are human “beings”, I love this one.

much love
Berit

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