Dear Jack,

Do you know how sometimes you let something slide by, perhaps thinking you can get away with it, or not even thinking at all until later, and then you think, ‘Hmm, I wasn’t dishonest, but I wasn’t fully honest either.�

Of course, I don’t mean you, Jack, I mean me.

What I am referring to are my lengthy emails to Microsoft. I have given you and other blogreaders the impression that I really do expect to hear back from Microsoft.

In the last entry on this matter, called, oddly enough, A Yiddish Proverb, I wrote my sincere apologies to Microsoft for all my complaints. Thanks to the Yiddish proverb, I had the realization that all of my computer woes may not have been entirely Microsoft’s fault.

At the time, Jack, you kindly commented that Microsoft would respond to my apology just as eagerly as they responded to all my complaints! I got the implications of what you were saying. I didn’t say anything to you about it at the moment, but my reluctance to confess the truth to you has been bothering me. Now I think it’s time for me to make a public admission.

Just as sure as am I that you will respond to my email to you, I am just as sure that Microsoft will not answer. It is possible that no matter what, Microsoft would not answer me or anyone. It’s possible that if we sent them a telegram, they would not answer. It’s possible that if I went to their main offices and presented myself in person as one of several billion Microsoft users, they wouldn’t pay attention either.

You may be wondering how I can be 1,000% positive, however, that, sadly, Microsoft will never write back to Me.

Please don’t think badly of me, dear Jack, when I confess to you the reason why I am so certain. Are you sitting down? I picture you in a swing in your garden in Australia with kangaroos hopping around.

Here it is: At last, the truth, the unmitigated truth!

Beloved Jack, I never once ever sent my emails to Microsoft. Not even one.

There, now I have said it, and now I feel better that I have finally told you the truth. I am sorry, Jack, that I led you on. You deserve better.

While I am at it, I might as well also confess to you that when Microsoft offers me a chance to report a difficulty on my computer, I press Don’t Send. Alas, Microsoft has never once heard from me, Jack. I have never once given them an opportunity to reply. And that’s how I know they will never write back.

With all my love,

Gloria