Beloved Chuck
This blog entry is in response to Chuck’s comment on the post before last. Please read his insightful post here: http://www.godwriting.org/godwriting/somethings-got-to-give-overdoing.htm#comment-85291 What Chuck wrote is a blog of itself.
Beloved Chuck, you put yourself out there too, and now you are even more beloved Chuck.
I will tell you all my thoughts.
By your compassion, it is possible that YOU did the final healing on this!
Let me tell you more about my writing about my cousin and the feeling I had afterward. Before I do, I want to say there is a “rule” of good writing that the author holds back, doesn’t tell everything, doesn’t reconcile or resolve, doesn’t explain, just leaves it to the reader. The story stands on its own, and it’s left to the reader to fill in the edges, which you did so admirably.
I had not had conscious memories of my Cousin Francis in years. Thirty years? I had almost conveniently forgotten how selfish I was. I had no conscious idea that I loved Cousin Francis. Way back then, I was pretty frozen in general. I certainly had no idea I felt affection for Francis. Back then, I didn’t know my own feelings, and I didn’t express them. Not until the story about Francis started writing itself, did I have any idea that I loved the guy.
I was doing my personal Godwriting to God when that story demanded to be written down. Here’s the personal Godwriting:
2-9-10
Gloria to God: Beloved God, maybe I am just going through roughness.
God: I would say you are –
At this point, I just stopped where I was and left personal Godwriting aside and let the story of Cousin Francis come out. It was like I had to.
Then I returned to my personal Godwriting:
Gloria: I’m back an hour or longer later. God, it came over me so strongly to write down the Cousin Francis story. And I did. It just wrote out, God. Is this a sign I am to do personal writing?
God: You can see that it had to come out. Yes, take it as a sign.
Gloria: It was an irresistible urge, but not all irresistible urges are to be followed.
God: This one was, beloved Gloria.
Then the next morning, in my personal Godwriting, I wrote:
2-10-10
Gloria to God: Yesterday the story about Cousin Francis came so strongly. It seemed so important to me. And now I wonder if something was healed — for me, for Francis, perhaps for my mother. What was so strong in the pull of that story?
God: Your love. That was the pull.
After the story was written and posted on the blog in four installments, I was so happy. I kept returning to it and reading it over and over again.
I have to tell you, dear Chuck, that I felt like a new person, as though years of stress had been removed from me.
I not only recognized my love for Cousin Francis, I felt his love for me, not from the past, but from right now. I can feel his pure love any time I think of him. In real life, Chuck, he was a tiny tiny fraction of my life, and yet, obviously, there was something huge going on there. And writing down what I remember also seems to have been huge.
Now I’d better let go of my regrettable selfishness and and focus on the love that has miraculously interwoven its way through.
Again, bless you for your caring and extending yourself so much.
Chuck, I do think that in the writing was the healing.
Godwriting is a blog by Gloria Wendroff and is about Gloria's daily life as the Godwriter of the Heavenletters project that is having a profound effect on the lives of people around the world.
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